The Jersey City Independent "

Photos: Steve Gold, Irene Borngraeber, Zac Clark, Melanie McLean

Everybody loves lists, right? Well, here are a few Top Five lists from JCI’s staff and several contributors, covering everything from city government to good eats to rock ‘n’ roll. Enjoy. (For more Year in Review goodness, check out our Top Stories of 2009.)

Five Wishes for the City Council (and the administration) for 2010

1. Pass a bill to fix the food truck ordinance.

2. While you’re at it, how about that bill that’s languished all year — you know, the one to straighten out how the Parking Authority gives tickets and boots automobiles?

3. Do your homework on the legislation at hand. The majority of our City Council does this — some clearly more than others — and we commend them for it. However, there are a few members — who shall remain nameless — who often seem to have no clue as to what is going on, and who we often find to know less about the bills being discussed than us reporters or even some members of the public. We know this is just a part-time job, but it’s a damn important one — read up, people.

4. Figure out a way to pass a budget on time. We’re never going to get out of this fiscal mess if we spend all of our money before a real budget plan is put together. Last year, the budget was passed with only 55 days remaining in the period it covered. This year, despite the promises of the administration, doesn’t seem to be going any better so far.

5. Several times in 2009, council members took the opportunity to get into little tiffs with members of the public, even voting against allowing one person to speak because of his “attitude” and changing a vote because of an angry crowd at the first post-corruption sweep council meeting. So, City Council members: We know that the public can sometimes seem like a nuisance to you, as they sometimes get facts wrong or yell or accuse you of being disingenuous. But no matter how tempting it might be at times, please don’t browbeat the public. It makes you look, well, kind of vindictive and bad. And, after all, isn’t it the public you work for?

Five of Our Favorite Photos of 2009

Staff photographer Steve Gold snapped hundreds of pics for us this year; here are five of our faves.

1. Council president Peter Brennan is all smiles as he leads the council caucus after Vega*’s resignation from the post

2. Art House Productions’ performance of “Heavy Craft/Soft Landing”

3. Lou Manzo Speaks at April 4′s AARP mayoral forum in the Heights

4. Pet Ownership Day at City Hall

5. Dan Levin lets the City Council know someone is paying attention

And an honorable mention to the wild turkey sitting on telephone wires on 8th Street.

Five Wackiest City Council Moments of 2009

Sure, City Council meetings can at times be tedious affairs, as council members plow through hundreds of resolutions and ordinances as they make the sausage known as local government. But sometimes downright bizarre things happen. Here are a few highlights.

1. Then-council president Mariano Vega* voted “no” on a resolution of no confidence … in himself.

2. Hugh Hales-Tooke mourned the loss of a building at 1 Jersey Avenue, in song.

3. A $4.38 million bond issue was approved for the purchase of a building in which the Parking Authority has been a tenant. The council goes ahead with the purchase based on an April 2008 appraisal and accuses Ward E councilman Steven Fulop of “grandstanding” when he vocally opposes the move. When residents in attendance make it clear they want to speak on the issue, some council members vote no to re-open a public hearing “because of [their] attitude.” (See our point about browbeating above.)

4. Dennis Burgess — better known as “Master Sup Tacular” to Jersey City public school students and those of you who were followed former Assemblyman and 2009 mayoral candidate Lou Manzo’s public access television show this spring — stopped by a meeting to promote a fundraiser for his organization, Saving Our Young Tomorrow. While he was there, he figured he’d go ahead and demonstrate his skill at ripping phone books and breaking cement blocks, despite a bit of good-natured heckling from City Clerk Robert Byrne.

5. Fulop read the words “Melicious Bottomvomit” into the public record as he presented Melissa Surach with an award for her “many contributions to the arts in Jersey City and her dedication to her hometown.”

Top Five Lines from Federal Corruption Complaints

There were many moments in the unsealed federal criminal complaints against Jersey City politicians and officials that were stunning, many that were — quite frankly — hilarious and many that illustrated the personalities of the officials involved. Here are our five favorites. Blanket disclaimer time: All of the actions described below were allegations.

1. A Lot of Pretzels: In early May, a breakfast meeting took place at a hotel restaurant in Jersey City between council president Mariano Vega*, Jersey City health officer Joseph Castagna and FBI informant Solomon Dwek. At the meeting, Dwek told Vega that, in addition to the $10,000 he planned on giving him on that day, he planned on giving the councilman another $10,000 after the municipal election for a “victory party.”

Vega*’s response: “Thanks … [this would buy] a lot of pretzels.”

2. Can You Do It as Soon as Possible? In late March at a Bayonne diner, then-candidate for the Ward F City Council seat LaVern Webb-Washington met with cooperating witness Solomon Dwek and a political consultant to discuss Webb-Washington’s help with “zone change[s], resolution[s], approvals, [and] stuff like that” Dwek wanted support for in relation to a purported project on Garfield Avenue. After Webb-Washington indicated that she could “definitely” support such things for Dwek, he told her that he’d give her $5,000 in cash — through the consultant — “to start” as a thanks for such support.

In response, Webb-Washington asked: “Can you do it as soon as possible?”

The next month, she donated $4,100 of her “own money” to her council campaign

3. According to Your Standards You’re Generous: At a meeting that went down at a Jersey City diner in July, cooperating witness Solomon Dwek was telling Assemblyman L. Harvey Smith about the help he wanted with state agencies for his purported development on Garfield Avenue and another one in Bayonne.

Dwek had already given Smith $5,000 in cash during Smith’s run for mayor for help with the Garfield Avenue project on the municipal level.

“Just like before the election, I was there for you, I’m a generous guy,” Dwek told Smith.

Responding to Dwek’s characterization of a $5,000 cash bribe, Smith pointed at him and said: “According to your standards you’re generous.”

Dwek’s response: “When I offer, I offer low, I’m a businessman.”

Later in that meeting, Dwek told Jersey City Housing Authority commissioner Edward Cheatam, who was there to facilitate the meeting and the cash flow, that he’d give Smith $10,000 since the Assemblyman had made it clear “he wasn’t happy with the five.”

4. Too Many Snakes Around: In early March, the FBI intercepted a phone call from political consultant Jack Shaw to Jersey City deputy mayor Leona Beldini. During the call, Beldini confirmed that she and Mayor Jerramiah Healy would meet with Shaw and purported developer Solomon Dwek later that day.

Beldini also informed Shaw that Edward Cheatam would not be in attendance, although he had been involved in the multi-party talks before Healy was brought in. She noted that Healy would not be “comfortable talking finances” in front of Cheatam. Why, you wonder?

Because there were “too many snakes around.”

5. People Might Ask Questions: In late March, deputy director of the Jersey City Department of Health and Human Services deputy director Maher Khalil met with fellow city employee John Guarini and purported developer Solomon Dwek at a Bayonne diner. The trio was discussing a project Dwek wanted to build on Garfield Avenue. Dwek asked Khalil if he was a member of the Zoning Board of Adjustment, and Khalil said he was. Dwek further said he wanted Khalil to use his position on the board to “slide” him through the development process “with no problems.” Khalil said he would, but warned Dwek to not “show up at Zoning Board meetings” as “people might ask questions.”

The only person Khalil was apparently worried about asking questions, however, appears to be Dwek, since Khalil had just lied to the federal informant. Khalil resigned his position on the Zoning Board of Adjustment on July 13, 2004, nearly five years before this conversation even took place. Nothing like hoodwinking a hoodwinker.

Our Five Most-Read Stories

1. Simple, really: The list of names of those arrested in the July 23 federal corruption probe.

2. Our Council Report that detailed the council’s controversial decision to purchase the Parking Authority building on Central Avenue.

3. Sometimes it pays to be first: Our story on Mayor Healy’s role in the federal corruption criminal complaints.

4. Again with the simplicity: The schedule for 2009′s Groove on Grove music series.

5. Our report on the opening of beer garden Zeppelin Hall.

Five Businesses That Closed and Will Be Missed (In Alphabetical Order)

1. Bagua Juice

2. Imagine Atrium

3. Iris Records

4. LIFE

5. OX Restaurant

Top Five Satisfying Meals (Michelle Weber)

There are hundreds of places in Jersey City I’ve never been, so I’d love to hear all your top fives! Expand my horizons. But here are my favorite satisfying meals, in no particular order (and an RIP for Ox Restaurant).

1. Onion soup and a Croque Madame at Madame Claude’s Cafe. There is no better soup, at least downtown: richly satisfying, deeply flavored broth with plenty of onions and flecks of rosemary topped with perfectly melty and bubbly cheese buoyed by its bread raft. The Croque Madame is just in case you needed some more cheese, in this case melted over a ham sandwich that’s finished off with a fried egg. A side salad of mixed greens with a perfectly simple vinaigrette provides the illusion of virtue. Runners up: The duck confit and white bean salad, the Friday night bouillabaisse at same.

2. A burger at the Miss America Diner. I love a diner, and I love a good burger. The burger at the Miss America’s got the three C’s: charbroiled, cooked properly and cheap. It’s got a fourth C as well: chrome. The setting, an original trolley car diner from the 1940s, can’t be beat, and neither can the properly sassy diner service. Make sure you sit in the old school side and not the newer addition, which lacks character. Runners up: The burger at the Flamingo Diner. On the not-cheap side, the blue cheese and bacon burger at Amelia’s.

3. Calamari and shrimp in red sauce at Suez Canal. Completely unassuming Egyptian hole in the wall specializing in fresh fish excellently prepared. The calamari and shrimp were miles from the rubbery counterparts found in Suez Canal’s more fancy-pants cousins, and you’ll want to make sure you have piles of rice to soak up every drop of the delightfully herbal red sauce. Runners up: The whole grilled or deep-fried fish at same.

4. Croissant French toast with a side of thick-cut bacon at Marco and Pepe. Whoever thought of taking butter-laden croissants, soaking them in custard and then frying them up, thank you. If it sounds like it’s too much, it’s not; it’s barely on the right side of “just enough.” With real maple syrup and tart fresh berries to offset the sweet richness, it’s my favorite splurgy brunch (more calorie-wise than wallet wise; brunch is a good way to experience Marco and Pepe without dropping too much cash). And I don’t think there’s anything more that needs to be said about a slab of thick cut, applewood smoked bacon. Add a Bellini or a cappuccino to finish things off. Runner up: Chilaquiles at Taqueria Downtown.

5. A loaf of bread from Pecoraro’s and some prosciutto, soppressata and mozzarella from Andrea’s Salumeria. I love a sandwich, and I especially love a simple sandwich made with quality ingredients. Not big, not overstuffed, not loaded up with extras; just the simple panino I grew up with in my Italian upbringing. When I need good bread and some good meat, these are my go-to joints. Runners up: The eggplant, roasted pepper and mozzarella sandwich form Buon Appetito; any of the rolls (sausage, eggplant, pepperoni) at the Second Street Bakery.

Top 5 Releases by Jersey City Artists (In Alphabetical Order)

1. Any Day Parade, Where We Fall EP

2. The Black Hollies, Softly Towards the Light

3. Chico Mann, Analog Drift: Muy … Esniqui

4. The Poconos, Love & Whiskey

5. Tris McCall, Let The Night Fall

Top Five Chocoholic Fixes (Jessanne Collins)

1. Made With Love’s salted chocolate cookie

2. Marco and Pepe’s molten chocolate cake

3. The Stockinette Knitting Cafe’s coconut dream bar

4. Madame Claude’s la Belle Hélène chocolate and pear crepe

5. Torico’s homemade ice cream hot fudge sundae

Rocker Tycoon’s Top Five Bands in Jersey City (Zac Clark)

With the year swiftly coming to a close, two things of import come to mind. The first is that I’ve been doing the Rocker Tycoon thing for about a year now — I started on the blog in late January, but I had spent the holiday season last year trying to figure out a way that I could contribute to the local community as well as start using my camera a bit more often. The second thing is that the Independent now has a year under its belt as well. I think we’ve both evolved quite dynamically in that time, and I’d venture to say that neither party thought that we’d come into the new decade as equipped and prestigious as we seem to be slated to do.

Jersey City has seen a lot going on this year too. Massive scandals aside, we have a TV show that films here on the regular, the music scene is growing, venues continue to make this a place to get a taste of the underground scene, even if the local government scowls in disapproval from time to time. All in all I’d call this a solid foundation year for Jersey City. In honor of all that, I give you my top five bands in Jersey City (in no particular order).

1. The Milwaukees: Jeff Nordstedt, Donovan Cain, Dylan St. Clark and Patrick Fusco make up this power rock act with a raw energy that’s contagious. They create a positive atmosphere where ever they play, and they are quite active on Twitter: @milwaukees.

2. The One & Nines: Vera Sousa, Jeff Marino, Barami Waspe, Alex Tyshkov, Will Hensan and Mr. Craig are a soul-style rock band. They have this 1930s big band sound, and I have to say they pull it off with a style that’s fully their own. It’s hard to see them play with out a crowd of fans screaming for one more song at the end of their set.

3. WJ and the Sweet Sacrifice: Billy Alpha, Mike Mobius, Erin Connors and Tom Barrret are a country-punk group. Their members call Jersey City home, they are the founding members of Moonlight Mile Records, and they’re a hell of a bunch of people to boot — just keep them away from your whiskey.

4. Any Day Parade: Tree, Chuck Daly, Larry Brinkman, Pat Byrne and Joe Daly combine to form a classic country quintet with a punk edge. They’ve got songs about drinking and women and … well, drinking. With two EPs currently available on iTunes and a show coming up at Maxwell’s, you can expect big things from these guys in the near future.

5. The Traveling Host of Rockers: While it’s certainly true that not all these bands are from Jersey City in the sense that they live here, they have made Jersey City their traveling destination of choice. I’ll consider this an Honorable Mention of several great acts that continue to come out on a regular basis to see live music, as well as play it. They bring their friends and they sing-a-long. If you’re in a Jersey City band in 2009, it’s likely that you’ve played a show with one of these acts. And if you haven’t seen these acts live, well you certainly haven’t been getting out for local music. This Alliance of Rock includes, but is not limited to: The Frozen Gentlemen, The Porchistas, The McMickle Brothers, Tip Canary, Una Pong, Ben Franklin, The Press, Kilsy, The Crosstown Country Allstars, Kagero, Prison Pretty, The Natch, Plowing Mud Forever, No Pasaran, Division of Planes, Victor Bravo, Bern & the Brights, Copasetic, Thomas Francis Takes His Chances, Aminal and the Swigs. Anyone else I didn’t mention, I must apologize in advance. Wow, I saw a lot of bands this year.

Top Five Parking Experiences in Jersey City (Martin Bricketto)

Parking in Jersey City, like in any other city, can be fraught with hassle and roadblocks, both literal and figurative. But what’s the fun if you can’t look back and laugh about it all? Right?

1. Moving Day. I was so proud in September when I navigated a beat-up box truck from my girlfriend’s place in Brooklyn across two rivers to have her join me as a Jersey City resident at our new apartment near the Grove Street PATH stop. The truck was initially parked in front of a fire hydrant but a real spot across the street became available about 10 minutes later. My girlfriend hopped behind the wheel, pulled up and began backing into the spot as her mom guided her in from the sidewalk. The truck was almost parked when two older women in a compact car zipped down the street and tried to steal the spot. My girlfriend’s mom tried to explain the situation, but the women either didn’t understand or didn’t care. There was an argument, which led to my favorite part of the incident. With neither side backing down, a bearded, bespectacled 20-something leaned out of an apartment window above the communication breakdown and, summoning what must have been years of intense studies while pursuing an advanced degree in conflict resolution, said “Can you stop yelling on my street?” Thanks for the help, buddy. My girlfriend thinks that it’s important to note that we won the spot in the end.

2. Streets in the Downtown area have lost potential parking spaces a few times this year because of the television drama Mercy, which is filmed here. If they want a scene in which a resident wraps up his commute from work, drives around in vain looking for a spot and shouts obscenities every time he sees a temporary “No Parking” sign, I’m totally for hire. The production company reportedly helped secure alternative parking for affected residents. This luckless motorist didn’t get that memo when they were filming on Wayne Street close to his apartment.

3. Off from work one Friday morning in the spring, I tried to do the right thing and get a residential parking permit from the Jersey City Parking Authority. However, because of alternate side parking regulations and a dearth of spaces to begin with, there doesn’t seem to be available parking Friday mornings anywhere near the authority’s headquarters on Central Avenue. How ironic. I parked about 10 blocks away.

4. I knew I was guilty in March when I lost track of time and parked on 6th Street without a permit for more than two hours. The surprising part wasn’t the ticket (I had one or two tickets in the past which I paid in full), it was the boot on my car’s back wheel — and the $110 fee to remove it.

5. I was heading back to my apartment one night in December when I saw a woman crookedly park her sports car over a pedestrian walkway at the always busy intersection of Jersey Avenue and Mercer Street. She left the vehicle running as she walked toward a store across the street. Every couple of feet before reaching the entrance, she would turn around and look at her car (and maybe me) to see if it was OK. It really makes you think about the different ways a car gets stolen.

The Top 5 Homeless People in my Neighborhood (Melissa Surach)

If you’re a writer/comedian/Jersey City celebrity like me, you’ve made poor decisions about careers and relationships, such as producing a comedy show called BabyHole or falling in love with a fingernail-less Xanex addict who collects dirty feathers on the sidewalk and dumps you because you’re “not put together enough.” As a result, you’re chronically unemployed, on the verge of homelessness and uncontrollably weeping as you leave yet another voicemail on your ex-boyfriend’s or temp agency’s phone. Sometimes you get them confused, especially when you’ve been drinking that morning, and accidentally accuse the temp agency of being a faggy momma’s boy and then sob as you beg it to love you and threaten to set something on fire.

Or at least that’s how my life collapsed into a downward spiral of increasingly self-destructive behaviors this year.

I was finishing my holiday shopping at Dollar Dreams, the dollar store on Newark Avenue. I noticed that a lot of homeless people like to hang out and lay around it. I guess we’re on the same budget now. As I looked around me at the all the bodies piled on the sidewalk — some barely conscious, some singing, some making out — I felt bad for them, laying out there in snow with no one to care about them or listen to their songs, except for the person they were making out with. Was this my future? I ruminated on the fate that might await me in 2010 if I don’t get a real job or new live-in boyfriend soon.

I took out the can of Dollar Dream Vienna Sausage I’d just purchased and examined it, feeling the coldness and rough texture of the rusty aluminum, like the rough frozen sidewalk that these hungry people’s faces lay on. I considered giving it to one of them, but only briefly, before I ripped open the can with my bare hands and shoved the contents into my mouth. I’d bought it for my parents’ Christmas present, but if I was going to become homeless, I’d have to start hoarding food. I’d also have start studying the ways of the street. As a result, I ranked the Top 5 Homeless People in my Neighborhood according to which ones I’d like to emulate the most when I become destitute. I’ve arranged them into categories needed for basic human fulfillment: Health, Money, Power, Love and Self Expression.

5. Health: The fifth place is a tie between the screaming Spanish guy in the wheel chair in front of Palace Drugs and Liquor and the Polish guy who’s passed out face down in front of the cobbler on Newark Avenue. He gets picked up in an ambulance on a daily basis, and the other one always has a clean cast. Although they both have constantly bleeding faces, they also regularly see a doctor and, as a result, have better health care than I do, which is none.

4. Love: There’s a young blonde woman who wears a blanket as a skirt and I occasionally see her screaming that her hair is paint and that she makes love to it. I’d like to be her because she’s resourceful and has magic hair, and hair will never leave you, like a man does. Especially if you have a strong hair gene because you descend from Eastern Europe, like I do.

And yes, there is a soiled couple that makes out on milk crates in front of the bank, but I don’t think it’ll last. Don’t trust him, milk crate girl! He’ll only find another milk crate and break your heart.

3. Self Expression: The elderly man in front of the bank dances and sings Spanish folk music into a skeleton voodoo doll that he holds like a microphone. He sings into its head, stopping occasionally to tell me how beautiful I am in Spanish. He’s not just on this list because I like flattery — he also gives me hope. Just because I’m homeless doesn’t mean I have to stop entertaining or give up my comedy dreams. I can see myself, telling jokes into an empty can of sausage, stopping occasionally to flirt with people who have homes. Councilman Fulop, if you’re reading this, please note that I’m now single.

2. Power: Stan, the mayor of the shanty town behind the Jersey City Cemetery, has a job, a mound of beer cans, and a sprawling tent system in the woods, which is more than I have. Sometimes he presides over other itinerants, sometimes he is only the mayor of himself. He protects himself with a spear and barely wears shirts. Although I sleep with mace in my fist, I’ve yet to whittle a spear out of paranoia, and to defend my territory with, but I could be a mayor, and my carpenter grandfather would be proud.

1. Money: My number one homeless person is my Uncle Genek and it’s not because he’s family — it’s because he’s a millionaire. My grandmother’s brother has won several lawsuits over the years because he was hit by a PATH train twice, and got shot by a cop a few times. Now, not only is he a millionaire, but his Social Security check is more than I make at my job. Sometimes I have to call the cops on him when he fights the tree in front of my grandmother’s house, and one time he stole my identity, but he’s a millionaire and chooses to be homeless because it makes him happy.

I wish that some one would shoot me so I can finally be happy.

I don’t really want to be homeless in 2010. Although 2009 wasn’t Melissa Surach’s most prosperous year, at least I got honored by Jersey City. I just need to figure out how to make out with it, or maybe sell it for money. But I’m still waiting for the actual award, or at least a nude bronze statue of myself visible from the waterfront.

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