The Jersey City Independent "

Share/Save

I’ve been home all week while wife and son spend some quality time with a friend in Tallahassee, Fla. I remember thinking when Kathy planned it that it will be great because I’d get a lot of work done, hit the yoga studio and, most importantly, spend the next four nights taking in sets at the Carefusion and Vision jazz festivals. It was a good plan and it worked for the most part.

It’s kind of funny how we revert back to old habits when you are home alone. I’m coming home late and staying up later. The house is a little messy. I’m eating take out on the fly as I bounce from one gig to the next. I’m taking cabs or walking through New York City on these hot summer nights listening to the sizzle of car tires on hot sticky tar. It all actually reminds me of my first visits to the city more than two decades ago. I had energy back then; while much of it was misdirected, the sheer abundance of it got me through.

Because Joao Gilberto canceled his Carnegie Hall show on Tuesday (rats!), I actually had time for a dinner with a friend and her son at Skinner’s Loft. Her husband was out of town and my family was out of town so it seemed like perfect reason to get together. Though the kid was a typical two year old, it didn’t phase me a bit. It was actually kind of fun to have that crazy kind of energy around me. I sat there drinking, eating and talking having a fine old time. Without thinking about it, I rearranged the table to keep breakables out of reach, played with a toy that the waitress brought, and generally grazed on the French fries he seemed less than interested in eating. I was home by eight and had a great time.

I’m not saying I’ve lost a step now that fatherhood has entered my life, but I also look at these old habits as old. Fun though the old life was, I like my new life. I miss taking Dash to the park and sharing my morning bowl of cereal with him. I miss watching him cruise down the sidewalk at a full gallop. I miss him chasing the pigeons. I miss his obsession with water fountains. I miss talking to the neighbors as Dash and I wander through our day to day.

Now they are on their way home and it’s time to get the house shipshape. I’ll run the dishwasher and vacuum. The recycling will be taken out and I’ll put away the piles of mail that have mounted up. If I’m really ambitious I’ll make a run to the grocery store.

Having taken a few plane rides alone with Dash, I know exactly what Kathy is going through right now — he probably didn’t nap long enough, he’s amped up because they’re in an airport with REAL airplanes, and she’s thinking how nice it is to fly without a kid.

But that’s parenthood in a nutshell — they drive you crazy when they are around and you miss them like crazy when they are not.