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In the last few weeks, Dash has taken to using the word “self” a lot. I’m not sure where he picked it up, but he says it emphatically when he wants to do something himself. Most human beings are independent by nature and Dash is no exception. I’m no child psychologist but I’m sure this need to do things on his own has something to do with learning new things and establishing some sort of individual identity. This big picture stuff is all well and good but tooling around with a 2-year-old who zealously insists on doing many tasks himself is testing the limits of his father’s patience, particularly when we leave the house.

Dash has started putting on his sandals himself, sometimes getting them on the correct foot. At first it would take up to 15 minutes do this and of course it usually happened as we were trying to go somewhere. Keep in mind that we’re talking a few seconds if I just did it myself. But I’m on board with the concept of letting him figure stuff out. A solution has been to actually have him start the process 15 or more minutes before we need to get going and it’s worked out pretty good. Now it takes him a minute or two and I’m proud to say that he always picks a matching pair of shoes.

Things have now progressed to the hopeless point where he wants to put on his snappy new pair of brown Chuck Taylor Converse high-tops. His last pair of low-top Chucks had Velcro, but these new ones are the real deal. He diligently tries to pull on the shoes and will work at it for several minutes at a time. He managed to get one on one time and redid the laces a bit, but I’m sure it’s going to be years before he manages to get the hang of tying them — I can remember learning, so it’s definitely a ways off. Anyway he finally relents and lets me pull on the shoe and then starts yelling “self” again as I try to tie his laces. I’ve found that it works best if I tell him what I’m doing as I tie them.

Then we head to the door and he manages the front door to our apartment just fine and he’s off down the stairs holding the railing because he doesn’t want parental help. The next gauntlet is the building’s front door. It’s a beast of a door that is extra wide and, like many doors in public spaces, has a mechanism that pulls it shut. Like the laces, it’s going to be years before he’ll be able to manage it himself. Here if I’m lucky he’s usually so revved up to go outside to the park or wherever that he doesn’t pitch a fit as I grab the stroller and open the door, though he usually still says “self.”

The stroller is a piece of cake and he can crawl right into it and fasten his belt. If we go to the car he stands by the backseat door and waits (no “self” here for some reason). But as soon as I open the door he barks “self” as he climbs into the car baby seat. Remarkably, he now manages to strap himself in and fasten his seat belts, which is no easy task. Apparently he’s sat back there enough to figure out how it works. I’m actually thrilled that he can do this because positioning a 30-plus pound child in a seat while bending over can be hard on the back. Instead, I get in the driver’s seat, wait for him to finish his job, check his work and off we go. So it’s not always a test of patience.

Of course, “self” isn’t limited to getting out of the house, there’s a growing list of other tasks as well. Here’s a list some of the others:

• Eating soup or milky cereal with a spoon
• Putting bug spray on
• Brushing his teeth
• Getting his own utensils
• Taking off his diaper
• Transporting his trains
• Putting on his jacket
• Walking the dog
• Drawing or coloring
• Opening all containers