Ah, summer in Jersey City: Coco helado, farmer’s markets, Groove on Grove, films in Van Vorst Park. Standing outside Torico’s waiting and waiting for the renovations to be finished so I can get my cinnamon ice cream fix.

Let’s not forget the power outages, drunk people yelling outside your open window at 2 in the morning, and the spike in crime.

I love Jersey City, but sometimes I just need to get the hell out of Dodge. Luckily, we have a car and my husband loves to drive. And I enjoy spacing out in the passenger seat.

This weekend we took a drive out to Bernardsville in Morris County to visit Cross Estate, a small botanical garden. It’s a 40 minute drive, but well worth it.

Cross Estate Garden is the kind of place you read about in old novels when you were a kid. It feels out of another era. It is a relatively unknown garden, so there were very few people when we were there. At first it seemed quiet and still, but after a few moments, I became aware of the abundance of life around me. Several types of bees, dozens of butterflies and even hummingbirds, all making noise and moving around and living their lives. I wondered how often, if ever, these animals left Cross Estate. It was a little pollinator utopia.

There are a few different areas of planting. There is a beautiful shade garden, shade kindly provided by a gorgeous redwood.

Pass through the shade garden, and under the wisteria (not in bloom right now) to enter the English style garden.

Just beyond the first garden is a slightly more formal perennial garden, with poppies and other beauties.

As you exit the formal gardens, you will walk through a rhododendron orchard, which is beautiful and spooky.

Beyond the gardens are some woods with short trails to spend a few minutes exploring. There are a few ruins to keep an eye out for.

There are benches located throughout the gardens, and it is a wonderful place to bring a picnic and relax for a couple of hours. Well-behaved, leashed dogs are allowed. If you are looking for other activities in the area, check out the Great Swamp or Washington’s Headquarters in Morristown. For a snack, visit Stewart’s in nearby Gillette for root beer floats. Bernardsville is a great area to drive around and gawk at mansions, if you’re into that sort of thing. Or stop in at a pub and perhaps you’ll see local residents Bill Moyers and Mark Ecko throwing back a few. Yeah, it’s that kind of town.

Cross Estate is the kind of place you should visit multiple times during the season to catch all the perennials and flowering shrubs. In the spring, Cross Estate has a plant sale which I hope to get to next year.

Happy growing,

Emily

Do you have a gardening question/comment/angry rant you’d like to share with Emily? Post it in the comments!

So this year, over winter break, I announced to my daughters that we were heading to the “City of Brotherly Love” and the main attraction would NOT be the Liberty Bell but the plaster cast of Siamese twins Chang and Eng. Sure, I thought that the Liberty Bell and Independence Hall were worth seeing — but the main purpose of our visit was definitely the Mütter Museum.

A few parents asked me if the museum was appropriate for children and would my girls possibly be “freaked out” by some of the exhibits. I didn’t think so, I countered. After all, we’ve had the museum calendar in our kitchen and have never flinched at some of the more unsavory images, plus there’s the coffee table book with its large sepia-toned photographs — all of which the girls have been extraordinarily interested in.

I once found my daughter, Evie, reading the coffee table book in bed before she went to sleep, and my older daughter is enthralled with the descriptions of various physical abnormalities photographed for the purpose of medical study. There were images of objects swallowed and retrieved; rare skin aberrations, growths, tumors, birth defects, gunshot wounds and distended abdomens; and of course the many photos of “teratological” specimens (fetuses with birth defects.) Because of this exposure, my kids were already curious about these objects and that interest was certainly not cultivated by accident. I’ve always shared my love for all things medical with my daughters; especially those that are unusual and intriguing.

That said, seeing the real thing, up close and more or less tangible, compared to seeing photographs of “a two-headed fetus,” is a whole other ball of wax. The museum has most of its artifacts housed in glass cases which we approached with cautious curiosity. There are plenty of full-size human skeletons and a curious collection of skulls with small cards stating the person’s name, age at death, occupation and where they lived. In a temporary exhibit of things Rarely Seen, we marveled over an authentic iron lung (where I had the opportunity to explain polio to the kids) and an X-ray machine that shoe stores used to examine foot bones for proper fit. Radiation and cancer, anyone??

The Mütter Museum is also an ideal place for someone who, like me, is interested in birth and birth practices through the years. There is an entire section of antiquated obstetrical instruments, followed by abnormal fetuses floating in jars, followed by infant skeletons, propped upright and resembling miniature Halloween decorations. I was amazed to find an actual “birthing chair” from the 19th century — or perhaps I was more amazed that such an item was even considered a bygone artifact. In birthing facilities all over the world (except for the U.S.) birthing stools or chairs are standard fixtures. Of course, I had to make this point known to the guard and some visitors who were hovering nearby; they politely paused to listen to my explanation: “Yes, well, we know that gravity helps with labor and certainly pushing a baby out while lying on one’s back is not the ideal position for facilitating birth.”

Moving along, we gasped over a nine foot colon (not a replica, but the actual organ) and peered at the skeleton of a dwarf prostitute from the 19th century who died during childbirth. Yes, this was not the most cheery of exhibits. Eventually we found our way to a plaster cast of the beloved Siamese twins, Chang and Eng. These two were so famous that the word for describing conjoined twins came directly from them, as they hailed originally from Siam (Thailand.) The name stuck and to this day most people refer to conjoined twins as “Siamese.”

Imagine explaining to my girls how those men managed to father 21 children between the two of them. “In fact,” I continued, “today there are over 1,500 descendants of Chang and Eng, including several sets of non-conjoined twins.” If we lived in Philly I would happily work at this museum and give informational tours; especially to children and those in the birthing community.

So how did my daughters react to the onslaught of fascinating specimens? For the most part they loved it — though they did actually feel sick in one warmish room that contained gangrenous body parts and a jar of skin flakes. I confess I had to spit out my gum which was starting to bother me in an unexpected way. Was this an educational, albeit it unconventional, road trip? Certainly. And considering that the girls would like to return with a bunch of their friends, I’m inclined to think it was a success.

Photo: Evi Numen for the Mütter Museum of The College of Physicians of Philadelphia (2011)

As part of the package, the hotel is offering a free daily $10 MetroCard for each guest, to make traveling to the USTA Billie Jean King National Tennis Center (PATH to 33rd>B/F/V to 42nd>7 to Mets-Willets Point, FYI) free.

The deal also includes free valet parking and rates starting from $169 per night.

The U.S. Open kicks off August 30.

For more information, or to book the special offer, click here.

We’ve spent much of the last six weeks traveling on and off. Happily nothing horrible happened that matched the outright hostility we got during our trip to Montana early this year. But traveling with a two-year-old is tricky in the best of times and can be grueling when you make a long slog — besides the previously mentioned Montreal there have been treks by plane to Brazil and by car to Wisconsin and Minnesota. There’s the insane number of things needed — stroller (which we forgot for a quick weekend in Montreal), car seat, diapers, toys, not to mention clothes, toiletries and passports. Then there’s the fact that you are in environments that can be child unfriendly or even dangerous.

Regardless of your mode of transportation, each way has its pluses and minuses. Planes get you there faster and kids under age two can ride free on your lap or hopefully in the empty seat next to you. Cars take more time but you are on your own schedule and in control of the environment (or don’t have to worry if junior has a hissy fit). Cars are obviously cheaper and mean you don’t need a car rental on the other end. While car rides are fun for Dash, the kid loves to fly and continually points out planes in the sky when we are outside doing our day to day.

That said, kids will be kids, which is to say that they are human. This means there’s no predicting sleep patterns. We stayed in a wonderful condo on the beach in Rio and it had a nice room and bed for Dash. It was dark and quiet, which would seem great for naps. But even so, Dash got up in the night sometimes. This would make him a bit grumpy at times during the day, but he was more or less a trooper who did fine. Perhaps it was all the coconut water and walks on the beach as well as trips to the local playgrounds, which were a little shoddy but the kids were nice.

The worst was Wisconsin. Like much of the Northland, the woods of Door County are a haven for mosquitoes. Dash even has problems here in Jersey City, where bites swell up like welts if he scratches them. At home he’ll get a few bites if he cruises around the garden paths of Van Vorst Park or plays at the water fountain, but in Wisconsin five minutes outside running around without bug spray would leave his legs and arms dotted with bites. He’ll even get some through his shirt. With bug spray he still gets them and it creates havoc.

A two-year-old covered in bug bites is a problem. You can’t really rationalize with them about not scratching, which means they get scratched and infected. Even if you apply anti-itch medicine like Benadryl it wears off and then they scratch. So Dash looked like he some sort of plague. Worse was the fact that the itching meant that he would wake up during the night and not be able to fall back to sleep immediately, which seemed like a tremendous waste considering the fact that it was pitch black out with no sounds but crickets. Finally I ended up sleeping in the bed with him just to be on hand to calm him down before he got worked up.

We carried on to Minneapolis to visit family and friends after Wisconsin. Dash once again had his own room at our cousin’s house. Despite sleeping in a Pack ‘n’ Play that he was too big for in a room that didn’t have any blackout shades, he slept like a champ — long naps and no problems at night. Maybe he missed the city or something.

Long story short, there’s no predicting how your kid is going to react (consciously or subconsciously) to travel. Dash has done more than his fair share and he sometimes seems to do better than his dad with it, but when everything around you has the sheen of new, maybe it doesn’t really matter whether you are home or not. It’s all new regardless. So any readers out there on the fence about summer travels? I say go for it. The kids will do better than you think.

This last weekend we made a huge tactical error. I was going up to cover the Montreal Jazz Festival and decided to drive so the entire family could come along. We love the city, the downtown is very walkable, and the festival grounds has tons of free music on outdoor stages. The idea was that we would cruise around town with child in tow taking it all in. The problem was that we forgot our stroller. This is second time we’ve left town without a stroller, but this time it was a bigger deal than a visit to the grandparents who drove everywhere.

With Dash topping the scales at 30-plus pounds, it’s a lot of groceries to carry around. Of course it didn’t help that both of us have cranky backs and I’ve got a bum shoulder at the moment. I know this probably makes us sound like a classic example of why old farts shouldn’t have young kids, but really I’ve found that logic and family decisions don’t always coincide, so keep those thoughts to yourself.

Anyway, we toyed with the idea of buying a cheap stroller or other method of child transport, but there weren’t any stores nearby that sold such things. In the end we just traded off carrying him around. When there was room and he was in the mood, we let him walk, sometimes holding hands and sometimes swinging him along with a parent on either side.

We actually busted out the shoulder ride, which hadn’t gone so well at the Liberty State Park air show on Fathers Day, but he went for it this time. That worked the best, particularly when bands played. We did wander a bit, but probably didn’t go as far as we would have otherwise. Nor did we move from stage to stage the way we would have otherwise done. But somehow we survived.

Dash actually behaved pretty well, all things considered. I’ve said it before that the kid has already traveled more than I did in my first 20 years and this weekend jaunt wasn’t much of a stretch for him. Of all the meals we ate out, there wasn’t one time that he went nuclear and we had to run out of a restaurant with a screaming 2-year-old.

That said, he had an awesome meltdown in the grocery store where he laid on the floor in the checkout line screaming. I missed it because I was at a gig, but apparently the display was impressive enough that a man from the Congo who only spoke French and a little Israeli (?!) tried to helpfully snap him out of it by yelling “hey!” over and over again. Wish I’d been there to see that.

There was another time on the street as we walked towards the river. We fruitlessly tried to convince him that walking was a great idea, but when we set him down he just slid right down to the pavement and screamed bloody murder. This time a French Canadian family tried to cheer him up using French and waving at him, but the only thing that worked was Kathy picking him up and carrying him. At this point he just stared at me, silently cursing me out with a look of disgust that he’ll no doubt refine over the years to come.

One chiropractic visit (me) and one massage (Kathy) later, we’re no worse for wear. I’m truly looking forward to the day he’s too big to be carried, but until then I doubt we’ll ever forget the stroller again (knock on wood).

- Sports Cuts May Hold Up County Budget: Hudson County freeholders Bill O’Dea and Jeff Dublin are threatening to hold up the county budget until they get answers about the complete elimination of athletics programs at County Prep and High Tech high schools. Speaking of the budget, the Insider says County Executive Tom DeGise may not have the votes to get it passed.

- City Car Policy: The City Council’s vehicle allowance gets the “Shame on You” treatment from Fox 5′s Arnold Diaz.

- City Takes Down Man’s Makeshift Memorial to Fallen Nephew: Jersey City Incinerator Authority workers have taken down the memorial Junie Scala had erected four months earlier for his grand-nephew, Vincent Frassetto, a Marine who was killed in Iraq in 2006.

- March Against Violence Slated for Saturday: Jersey City churches, officials, and civic organizations have organized the “Tearing Down Strongholds Prayer March” to honor young people who lost their lives to violence in the community.

- New Coach at Hudson Catholic: Former Giants defensive end Leonard Marshall will attempt to restore the luster to the football program at Hudson Catholic, which will introduce him as its head coach today.

- Man Sentenced in 2008 Murder Case: The last of three defendants in the December 2008 killing of a 43-year-old man on Palisade Avenue was sentenced to 10 years in prison on Friday.

- Cop Sentenced for Domestic Violence Incident: A 29-year-old Jersey City police officer will serve up to five years in prison for assaulting the mother of his child and endangering the 15-month-old girl, even though his girlfriend testified at trial that she lied about the incident to police.

Today’s Best Bet:

- NJCU’s annual Jazz Bash concert is tonight at 7 pm.

In Statewide News:

- Pension Changes in the Offing: Pension and benefit reform proposals that would, if adopted, ultimately affect up to 800,000 state workers and retirees may be issued by Gov. Christie’s administration within two weeks. Meanwhile, the earlier pension reforms enacted by the governor, which are still being fought in court by leading state unions, have gotten a nod of approval from the bond-rating firm Moody’s Investors Service.

- Top Dems Say No Budget with Drug Cost Hikes: Steve Sweeney and Shiela Oliver say they won’t approve a budget that requires higher deductibles and copays for senior citizens enrolled in a subsidized prescription drug program.

- Menendez’s Role in Immigration Reform: Sen. Bob Menendez, the highest-ranking Hispanic in Congress, is part of a small group of Senate Democrats who are crafting a sweeping measure to overhaul the nation’s immigration system in response to a tough new law adopted in Arizona.

- Bomb Scare in Times Square: New Jersey officials say they are keeping a watchful eye on the bomb scare that shut down Times Square for several hours this weekend, but they say there’s no evidence to suggest there’s any related threat in the Garden State.

- Christie Will Get Federal Funds for Insurance: Gov. Christie, unlike most Republican governors, plans to claim federal funds so the state can run a high-risk insurance pool for people with pre-existing medical conditions as part of the national health care reform.

- Another NJ Solider Killed in Afghanistan: The Department of Defense says a 24-year-old soldier from Gloucester County was killed by explosives last week in Afghanistan.

- NJN’s Future: Gov. Christie’s proposal to eliminate all state funding for NJN “raises a host of questions about the viability” of the public broadcasting network.

- Oil Spill Leads NJ Lawmakers to Criticize Offshore Drilling: Sens. Frank Lautenberg and Bob Menendez joined U.S. Reps. Frank Pallone and Rush Holt in condemning President Obama’s adherence to offshore oil drilling despite the spill, which threatens to become the largest in U.S. history.

- Seniors Being Victimized by Recession: Social service agencies and others in the field of elder care say they are intervening more and more often on the behalf of parents being exploited by adult children who moved back in with them.

- History Fair is, Well, History: The popular annual Spirit of the Jerseys State History Fair at Washington Crossing State Park has fallen victim to Christie administration spending cutbacks.

- NJ Hall of Fame: Actors Jack Nicholson and Susan Sarandon, author Judy Blume and singer Frankie Valli were among 15 Garden State luminaries inducted into the third annual New Jersey Hall of Fame in a Sunday night ceremony.

- Leading NJ Air Brand May be History: Continental Airlines is expected to finalize a merger with United today; the deal would create the world’s largest airline and shelve the Continental brand, which has a long history in New Jersey.

- Sticking Around This Summer: A new Monmouth University/Gannett New Jersey poll finds more New Jerseyans plan to vacation at the Jersey Shore this summer, and that more middle-income families plan to stay for a week or more. Meanwhile, the shore summer rental market seems to still be in the renters’ favor.

About a week before spring break my seven-year-old daughter suggested we go on a road trip for our upcoming vacation. “Come on, Mommy … we haven’t done a road trip in ages! Let’s go to Washington, D.C.!”

She doesn’t know that Mommy does not really like road trips because frankly, I hate being in a car for any more than 90 minutes. That’s my limit. I like movies and car trips to last about an hour and a half, tops (and there is a common denominator there I’m certain).

However, she did come up with a good idea. Washington D.C., unlike say, the Grand Canyon, is in fact a forgivable distance away; and with all those museums being free — I was starting to think that this could be a frugal little holiday.

The first thing I did was check in with my friend Maggie whose mom lives in D.C.; I’ve always genuinely enjoyed my friend’s mother’s company. So, when she said, “My mom would love to host you and the girls,” I was thrilled that we had easily arranged lodgings; the first road trip hurdle.

I had no idea that she lived in an amazingly diverse and desirable section of D.C., or that detached houses like hers were extremely rare in the area. I simply thought, “Great; we have a place to stay, my car gets excellent gas mileage and it’s Cherry Blossom time!”

Here is what I learned:

1. Do NOT clean your car inside and out BEFORE you go on a road trip with two grade-school age children.

You will be knee-deep in apple-cores, Veggie Booty and discarded notebook paper before you even hit the Turnpike. Your backseat becomes a living entity; a pigpen with its own energy force — growing exponentially with each mile.

2. Visit rest stops, but not every twenty minutes.

I had barely passed IKEA when I was ready for a break. Twenty minutes into our road trip and I was itching to be out of the car. You might say that I am not built for travel — however, I do like going places. Thankfully, for kids even a roadside rest stop is an exotic addition to the road trip. Be sure to ask some family, “What state are we in?” so that it will appear like you’ve been driving cross-country for weeks or months, lending an air of respect and awe to your party.

3. A good road trip requires quality music.

The girls and I had just watched that mildly inappropriate (for tweens) roller-derby film Whip It the night before. In a last-minute panic I bought the entire soundtrack from iTunes and frantically burned a CD for our trip. In my haste I neglected to notice that the song I wanted MOST to drive to (The Breeders’ “Cannonball”) was NOT included on the soundtrack. So, by the time we were passing the barrage of Rutgers billboards I was thinking that this trip could not be driven appropriately without it. But the girls didn’t even notice; they had re-discovered The Ramones plus another song with the word “bitch” in it that kept them interested and singing along.

4. Make one side-trip that distracts you from the monotony of driving.

Before the trip I had already decided we’d take a detour into Baltimore and check out their world-renown aquarium. We found parking and piled out of the car only to be assaulted by the heat. At this point in our trip the temperature had risen about 20 degrees since we’d left North Jersey. It would have appeared that traveling a bit south from Jersey City had raised the Mason-Dixon line — but in reality a heat wave was upon us. We were grateful for the cool watery interior of the aquarium — though I nearly fell face-first in a tidal pool when I saw the prices. I suppose I’m out of touch with “theme attractions” that charge you $19.95 for an under-10-year-old child. For a moment I wondered if I could pass them both off as TWO-year-olds (where prices dip marginally). I was determined to get the most out of our pricey visit by perhaps getting nicked by a shark so we’d at least have a story to tell. Instead we chatted at length with a tank diver who divulged the secrets of cleaning fish tanks — thus making the side-trip a success.

5. Stay at someone’s house, not in a hotel.

This point was key to our trip — and not just because I’m parsimonious. It’s nice to have someone warmly welcome you; to give you a cozy room with your own set of towels and paperbacks. To possibly have a delicious homemade dinner available for you and to indulge your children’s needs when you want to take a bath. My friend’s mom was a delight and her house was simply the most magical place I’d ever seen. I found an elephant’s pelvis under her Baroquely-ornate grand piano. There was a combination toilet/bidet in every bathroom — just like a European bed & breakfast. The first toilet we sat on was warm and inviting to our tired buttocks; heated by the electric bidet contraption. Then I explained that you press a button (on the side of the toilet seat) and a warm jet of water washes over your nethers in an efficient and civilized manner. This detail fascinated my daughters endlessly.

There was an exceptionally friendly cat living there who delighted my daughters by sleeping in bed with them. And I had use of the computer whenever I needed (so I needn’t have lugged my cantankerously noisy laptop with me). My friend’s mom gave us pointers on sights we should see and directions for the nearest Metro stop. We were all set.

6. Accept what is beyond your control.

Heat wave. April seemed like the perfect month in which to tool around D.C., but this unexpected heat wave pushed our frazzled feet and hair to its limits. The girls’ feet swelled and sweated in their normally comfortable Crocs and sneakers. The humidity sapped their energy and made even the short trek to the zoo seem impossibly arduous. The two-mile expanse of the National Mall stretched before us like the Kalahari. My typically enthusiastic and perky children were flopping on every park bench and grassy knoll within sight. Their endless complaining was like a discordant drone in my ears; the whining and begging to stop and get ice cream wore me down: “Sure, have a Dove bar at 10 am!” They complained relentlessly about their sore, swollen feet until I finally gave in and permitted them to dip their dogs in none other than the World War II Memorial fountain. I buried my head in my hands, half-pretending they weren’t my children and wondered what my dad would think. “They’re stickin’ their stinky feet in MY WAR’S WATER!”

7. You can see cherry blossoms some other time.

Though I was curious about the famous Cherry Blossoms of D.C. my girls were more of the “they’re just trees” mind. When I discovered that the trees had already bloomed and discarded their flowery blossoms I was somewhat relieved, as the journey over to the grove was out of our way. A moment later I passed a group of elderly folks who were not the least bit relieved by this news. “What do you mean they’ve peaked?” they yelled at the park service ranger as though he had some hand in it. “I waited for this my entire life.”

“Well, next time,” he smiled tightly, “you’ll have to come to D.C. for two weeks just to be sure you catch them.” I could see by their faces that they didn’t really anticipate having a whole lot of “next times” to wait around for blooming cherry trees.

8. Remember to make it fun.

After snapping endless photos on her cell phone, my nine-year-old frowned into her withering phone battery display. She looked up and asked earnestly, “Do you think Obama would let me charge my phone at his house?” Needless to say, we never made it over to the White House — failing phone or not. We didn’t tour the Smithsonian, like we were supposed to, and we missed out on the Cherry Trees. However, we did randomly run into another Jersey City family at the zoo. We circled our way around the other monuments, enduring the endless march hand-in-hand; we discovered an appreciation for abstract expressionism at the Hirshhorn Museum and we traded foot massages with Burt’s Bees creme at night. When we finally decided to find our way back to JC, the heat wave had broken and we were sweaty no more…

All in all it was a memorable road trip, despite our aching feet … I would do it again in a heartbeat; but perhaps we’ll drive north next time and definitely with “Cannonball” blasting on the stereo.

Have parenting questions for Jayne? Email her at mamarama.tv (at) gmail.com and she might answer them in a future column.

Photos: Verity Smith and Melissa Surach

Two Saturdays ago, I went to Atlantic City for the 5th Annual Celebration of the Suds, one of the biggest beer events in the state. I had tickets for the night’s sold-out session, and I arrived in town just in time to be greeted by the exodus from the afternoon session. Hundreds of people uniformed in matching outfits spilled out of the Convention Center onto the streets, screaming and fist pumping. Some people staggered into traffic. Some urinated on the lawn as they chanted celebratory slogans about their New Jersey hometowns. It was 4:30 in the afternoon.

As the shrieking caricatures playfully banged on my car’s window, I was both intimidated by them and embarrassed for them, as well as my home state of New Jersey. Last year, the festival drew over 15,000 people and I was going to the sold out session. Over 65 breweries were participating, showing two to four beers each. As much as I loved the idea of trying hundreds of high-alcohol content craft beers, I didn’t want to be covered in strangers’ puke or punched in the head by a fist pump gone awry, or make out with a The Situation look alike — or worse, with The Situation himself. So with trepidation I entered the Convention Center an hour later, after police had cleared the stragglers.

Upon entry we were herded through a few gates, and then given a small plastic beer mug for a two-ounce pour. Then we were let loose into the festival. Confusion ensued — the desperate mentality of “Hurry up and drink it all before it runs out!” was written on the face of every sweaty bro, and the crowd rushed to drink as much beer as fast as possible.

Each brewery had a little booth, and like most beer festivals, after waiting on line, you get a sample, then move on. Long lines snaked and twirled about so it was hard to tell which brewery the line was for. As a fancy lady, I like to sample the proper way, from lightest to heaviest or complex, but without a brewery map and surrounded by harried mobs, this was an impossible wish. Although a belly full of hundreds of high alcohol-by-volume beers of drastically different styles is a recipe for disaster, I resigned myself to this practice, and limited myself to the beer I can’t afford (like Unibroue), or that’s un- or under-distributed in Jersey City. Regrettably, I missed a lot of breweries. For example, I really wanted to see if Yards was serving something seasonal, but I couldn’t find their table because there was no map.

New Jersey (its brewers, at least) was well represented by the likes of Flying Fish and River Horse as well as smaller ones like Cricket Hill and Boaks. In addition to Jersey brews, most were regional craft beers from as far west as California, as far north as Quebec, and as south as Jamaica, with some real Belgium brews thrown in too. There were also some mass-produced domestic and imported swill like Michelob, but the lines for them were surprisingly short considering how many bros were there. I guess once you go craft you can’t go back.

But beer wasn’t the only entertainment provided. There were also carnival games, a sand sculpture to take pictures with, a mechanical bull, a sideshow performance, the Toga Party Band and — of course — shopping. And there was food: pork products, jerky, pretzels and pizza were sold. You could also purchase T-shirts, kilts, and beerrings — earrings made out of beer caps. In addition, Camel and Skoal were there peddling tobacco and a few Atlantic City strip clubs had booths with what appeared to be coked out girls making out with each other

Of course, my favorite pastime was people watching/judging. Surprisingly, for a craft beer event, there weren’t many beards. But a lot of people wore costumes — mostly extravagant Irish stereotypes for some reason (it wasn’t Saint Patrick’s Day), but there was also a banana or two and of course, the always clever pimp-costumed bro was popular.

However, the costume that surprised me the most was that dozens of groups wore personalized matching T-shirts, as if they were a family that didn’t want to lose children at Disney World. Often, they would put their nicknames on them, like these fellows here.

It was these and gentlemen similarly attired who did most of the hooting and fist pumping at each other and, of course, at the coked out girls making out with each other. Big Moe and Cock Blochner must’ve been at the Rag Shop all night for the privilege.

Luckily, about an hour into the event, the lines had dwindled and for the most part had migrated to the bathrooms. At the end of the day, I’d tasted about 50 beers. It’s no surprise that I couldn’t taste anything after the first 20. Within those first few minutes, my favorites were Oskar Blues Gordon’s Imperial IPA, Flying Fish’s Exit 1 Oyster Stout, and New Holland Dragon’s Milk Ale. Notable breweries scarcely represented in Jersey City included Voodoo and Boaks. I would’ve loved to have a proper tasting of all the fancy beer, and I wish that there was water to cleanse my palate and beer-tainted glass. Hopefully next year some sinks and brewery maps will be provided.

This brings me to the shocker of the night: My favorite beverage at the beer festival was a hard cider.

It’s true: I fell in love with Farnum Hills Ciders. They make traditional cider from true imported cider apples. These ciders have a high alcohol content and bitter tannin taste unique from the sweet, low alcohol hard ciders predominately available in Jersey City. They’re from an apple orchard located on Poverty Lane in New Hampshire that reintroduces apple varieties long gone in the US (there’s even a PBS documentary on the orchard). The cider was recently approved for distribution in New Jersey and is carried by Hunterdon.

It was now last call and time for us to go. Some people were laying down, but the staff cleaned up vomit as quickly as possibly. People were telling each other that they loved them. As I looked around me at the slutty leprechaun girls, the friendly brawls for free T-shirts, and some glittery Shore button-downs, I couldn’t figure out if I was witnessing was beer culture, bro culture, or Jersey culture.

Finally I came to the conclusion that it was the union of all three: Jersey area beer sophisticates like myself and philistines alike had converged together. Some of us had orange tans and stiletto heels, some of us didn’t make it out conscious. But we all drank good beer together, without too many fist fights, if only for one night.

Although, fist fights did occur outside over cabs.

The clerk will be open from 10 am to 3 pm on Saturday, and will be offering passport photos for no fee for those applying for passports. The nationwide initiative, now in its second year, is designed to get as many people as possible to apply for passports. Last year, more than 57,000 applications were processed on the day.

Hudson County Clerk Barbara Netchert points out that it is a good time to apply for a passport, with a proposed $35 application fee increase likely to be enacted sometime this year. The fee increase would be the third in five years.

For more information on Passport Day in the USA, click here. To reach the Hudson County Clerk’s office, call 201-369-3470.

- Over at Left Bank Art Blog, Irene Borngraeber waxes theoretical about the Creative Grove Artist Market.

- Marie Javins’ excursion to Bannerman Castle upstate makes a nice addition to our summer travel guide.